The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
