Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
PANTIES FOUND
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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