Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
