Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
