5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
