carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
