if you like me you must not know who I am
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
