i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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