They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
A bitchslap is in order.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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