I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The air was thick with penises
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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