how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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