U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
