I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
