i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was born a porn star she said
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
