so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
