He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
