According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
