I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
