At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Alive.
So much puke
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
