there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize