When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
