It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
