we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
