I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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