well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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