She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
