Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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