I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
