i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
