At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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