I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
