Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
