is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
