Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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