Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
