There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
