Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
