So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
