East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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