We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
