I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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