i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
