its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
