so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize