Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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