Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
