How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
