No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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