I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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