you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
