oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
third nipple confirmed
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
