All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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