She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
