She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
