He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
