yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
