it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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