So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize