Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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