i will never coherently bang her
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
