He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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