oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
