guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
