your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
